THE CROWN JEWEL RETURNS: WHO SURVIVES THE MONACO GP?
There are races.
There are important races.
And then there is Monaco.
The streets of Monte Carlo have produced some of the most ridiculous moments in Formula Odin history. Championships have shifted. Cars have exploded. Friendships have ended. Baguettes have allegedly become weapons. And somehow, through all of the chaos, one thing has remained remarkably consistent:
Monaco never gives us the race we expect.
As Season 3 heads toward its most prestigious event, the paddock finds itself asking the same question it has asked before every Monaco weekend:
Who is actually going to survive this thing?
The Curse of Monaco
The history books are already overflowing.
Season 1's Monaco Grand Prix helped establish Monte Carlo as Formula Odin's premier theatre of chaos.
Then came Season 2.
The sprint race alone entered league folklore. Cars bounced off barriers. Front wings were exchanged like trading cards. And one man emerged from the carnage with a nickname that still follows him today.
Pietro Pepovic: The Butcher of Monaco.
The Sauber driver became a cult hero during that weekend. Not because he won everything—but because he came agonisingly close to doing so. Again. And again. And again.
Monaco has become Pepovic's playground. Few drivers attack the circuit with such confidence. Few drivers understand the rhythm of Monte Carlo the way he does. While other drivers see barriers, Pepovic sees opportunities.
Sometimes those opportunities end badly.
But sometimes they nearly make history.
Who Wins?
Favourite: Sajiki Jones (Haas)
This still feels like the weekend.
Jones produced one of the finest qualifying laps of Season 3 in Belgium, and Monaco remains the ultimate qualifying circuit. If he finds the same magic over a single lap, the rest of the field may spend Sunday staring at the back of a Haas.
The pace is undeniable. The confidence is growing.
And unlike Spa, strategy becomes far less important when nobody can get past you.
Prediction: Pole position and victory.
The Dark Horse: Hege Ruusperi
Nobody is talking about Hege Ruusperi.
That is exactly why Monaco should be worried.
The Williams rookie quietly delivered another strong result in Belgium and has consistently shown an ability to stay out of trouble while chaos unfolds around him. Monaco rewards patience almost as much as speed.
While the championship contenders fight each other into the barriers, Ruusperi feels like exactly the sort of driver who could suddenly find himself running fourth with ten laps remaining.
And once Monaco starts being weird, anything becomes possible.
Could he win? Probably not.
Could he somehow leave Monaco with a podium while half the grid is arguing with marshals? Absolutely.
Prediction: P5.
The Man Everyone Is Watching: Rum Balls Bradford
For two seasons the answer has always been Bradford.
Need a winner? Bradford. Need a comeback drive? Bradford. Need somebody to accidentally win after everything goes wrong? Bradford.
Belgium finally showed cracks in the armour. The Ferrari driver still reached the podium, but the aura of invincibility is weaker than it has been at any point in Season 3.
That makes Monaco fascinating.
Because if Bradford wins here, everyone will immediately start wondering if the championship fight is already over.
Prediction: P3.
The Monaco Specialist: Pietro Pepovic
Let's correct the record.
Yes, Belgium was dreadful. Yes, recent form raises questions.
But writing off Pietro Pepovic at Monaco is like writing off Bradford at Qatar.
Some circuits simply suit certain drivers.
Monaco is Pepovic's kingdom.
The near-misses have become legendary. The pace has never been questioned. The "Butcher of Monaco" nickname didn't emerge because he was slow—it emerged because he attacked the circuit with a level of commitment bordering on criminal intent.
If qualifying goes well, Pepovic could absolutely challenge for victory.
In fact, if there is one driver capable of ruining Jones' weekend through sheer Monaco wizardry, it is probably him.
Prediction: Podium.
Who DNFs?
Yisk Svensson
This is not based on pace.
This is based on Monaco.
Yisk has quietly become one of the most consistent performers on the grid, which naturally means Monaco will attempt to destroy him.
A late-race incident while fighting for a strong points finish feels almost inevitable. The kind of retirement where everyone watching immediately says:
"That's such a Monaco DNF."
Prediction: Retires from a points-paying position.
Silver Carlos
Someone must be sacrificed to the Monaco gods.
Carlos has been selected.
We don't make the rules.
Kermit Fatzinger
The universe has decided that whenever Tyrnado enjoys success, Fatzinger must suffer.
Last race his tyres exploded.
Monaco features barriers instead.
You can connect the dots.
The Unexpected Points Hero: Vahishton Turboslav
Every Monaco race needs a driver who quietly survives.
This year, our money is on Turboslav.
The Mercedes has lacked outright pace for much of the season, but Monaco has never been about outright pace. It is about avoiding disasters that everyone else seems determined to create.
While championship contenders exchange carbon fibre and accusations, Turboslav feels perfectly positioned to sneak into the points.
Prediction: P8.
Most Likely To Exchange The Largest Quantity Of Chicken Wings
For newer fans, the Chicken Wing Index remains Formula Odin's most prestigious unofficial statistic.
This year's favourite remains Havspiser Gatevold.
The Alpine driver possesses a rare combination of speed, determination, and an almost supernatural ability to arrive at corners carrying slightly more optimism than physics permits.
At Monaco, that is a dangerous combination.
Our analysts project:
- 4 front wing changes
- 2 investigations
- 1 miraculous recovery drive
- 17 exchanged chicken wings
A championship-calibre performance.
Gonki's Official Monaco Predictions
- Sajiki Jones
- Pietro Pepovic
- Rum Balls Bradford
- Jean-Émmanuel Tyrnado
- Hege Ruusperi
- Pole Position: Sajiki Jones
- Fastest Lap: Pietro Pepovic
- Most Chicken Wings Exchanged: Havspiser Gatevold
- First Retirement: Silver Carlos
- Heartbreak DNF: Yisk Svensson
- Surprise Points Finisher: Vahishton Turboslav
- Number of Safety Cars: 3
- Number of Drivers Claiming "He Turned Into Me": 12
- Number of Drivers Actually Telling The Truth: 0
Monaco is coming.
Hide your mirrors. Hide your front wings.
And if you're racing against Pietro Pepovic, remember:
The Butcher has returned to his favourite hunting ground.